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10 Oct 2013

The Pain



'Please don't do this to me…' Maria screamed.
No one cared to listen her cry.
She felt that inevitable moment for the first time,
Where she wasn't treated the same way as before.
Pain engulfed her when they shut the door against her face,
And locked her in…
To rest in that unfamiliar peace forever.

Scribbles of at
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31 comments:

  1. Unknown10 October 2013 at 12:24

    My God! Powerful. Leaves you wondering, almost asking for more. Love this!

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  2. ekta khetan10 October 2013 at 12:41

    Awww :(

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  3. Karan Sampat10 October 2013 at 12:54

    Strong..
    Great work..

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  4. Pooja Mittal10 October 2013 at 13:45

    very emotional and deep
    keep in touch,
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. jahid10 October 2013 at 14:37

    Nice thriller !!

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  6. Unknown10 October 2013 at 17:54

    Beautifull write... ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Rat13 October 2013 at 11:14

      thanks so much Katja. keep visiting :)

      Delete
  7. the little princess10 October 2013 at 22:46

    OMG! that made me gasp!

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  8. Ankur Anand10 October 2013 at 23:41

    power writing ! that what it is .. !

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  9. Anonymous11 October 2013 at 01:22

    This is so Intense..I can really feel the Pain.. :)

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    Replies
    1. Rat13 October 2013 at 11:20

      am glad it reached the audience the way i wanted it to be.. thanks a lot Harsha. :)

      Delete
  10. Vashtiqvega4311 October 2013 at 05:12

    Very intriguing! I want more!

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    Replies
    1. Rat13 October 2013 at 11:22

      happy to see your comment. thank you Vashti. :)

      Delete
  11. Unknown11 October 2013 at 09:00

    The last line gives you spine chills! "To rest in that unfamiliar peace forever"

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    Replies
    1. Rat13 October 2013 at 11:23

      that's what I wanted. thanks for dropping by..

      Delete
  12. jingles11 October 2013 at 16:15

    Amazing start..want to know more!

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  13. jingles11 October 2013 at 16:15

    Amazing start..want to know more!

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    Replies
    1. Rat13 October 2013 at 11:27

      i dono if I can come up with a sequel cos i think somethings are better left unsaid. thanks a lot Swarn Priya :-)

      Delete
  14. Shilpa Garg13 October 2013 at 13:40

    To rest in that unfamiliar peace forever.... that sounds very scary and chilling!

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  15. C Suresh14 October 2013 at 12:26

    A write that leaves a dark niggle at the end.

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  16. Ritesh Agarwal15 October 2013 at 15:56

    It is a dark poem...powerful and intriguing....leaving the reader with more questions than answers...very good rat

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    Replies
    1. Rat18 October 2013 at 20:11

      good to see your comment.. but i dint write as a poem but tried a 55er rats.. :)

      Delete

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