Any Monsters Under My Bed?! : Calvin And Me - III

Previously --> Why Are Girls So Weird? : Calvin And Me - I
How To Impress The Girl? : Calvin And Me - II

Back from the park I crashed on the couch in my living room and glared at Calvin who was already there.

Me: What was that, you did in the park?

Calvin: Can’t you see, I had to dodge off Susie. She followed me and I blame your girlfriend for trying to expose me to this hazard.

Me: My girlfriend, huh. Calvin! I blame you. Nusie is still mad at me for presenting her with dead flowers and your so called “letter” did not do any magic on her either.

Calvin: Tell me what happened?

Me: She threw the flowers on my face and screamed, 'You giving me a bunch of dead flowers, you insensitive clod?'

Calvin: Sorry, ol’ buddy. At least she did notice that you like her.

Me: Do you think she noticed? I don’t know, I’m stuck again.

Calvin: We are brave men. The word “stuck” isn’t even in our vocabulary.

Me: How about the word “Stupid”?

Calvin: Well, you should know which side your bread is buttered on.

Me: Very well. You are the boss. I take it back. Tell me what to do now?

Calvin: You want me to come to your aid now?

Me: Yes, please!

Calvin: Then, I demand more privileges.

Me: And what's that?

Calvin: Promise me that you will take care of this Susie next time and also find Hobbes for me soon.

Me: Your demands accepted.

Calvin: Aren’t you going to sign this deed of privileges?

Me: No I’m not. I’m a man of my word.

Calvin: Okay, I honour your word. Now let’s get thinking about your Nusie.

Me: My Nusie. Eeeee! But, how do I engage her in a conversation? Give me a quirky idea, which doesn’t obviously show that I’m desperate.

Calvin: We boys always want to look like we are not desperate. That’s the best part. Now pay some attention.

Me: I’m listening.

Calvin: I’m hungry.

Me: No, you are not.

Calvin: Yes, I’m hungry.

He shouts at the peak of his toddler voice.

Me: Okay, okay. Let’s eat first.

Calvin: If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.

We walked into the kitchen and I took out a box which says “Easy to make Pancake Mix”. As I poured the contents into a big bowl,

Calvin: How many pancakes does this box make?

Me: The recipe says it makes twenty pancakes, so we’ll each get ten.

Calvin: Good. So, what are you doing?

Me: Adding two eggs and making the batter.

I got ready to pour the batter in the pan.

Calvin: Are you going to pour it one after the other?

Me: Yes, of course.

Calvin : Nah, that's too much trouble making twenty. We’ll just make one big pancake and cut it in half.

Me: Ah, I get the moral of saving time here. So as I make our pancakes, can you get back to the idea I was asking you about?

Calvin: Umm.. Call her out for a game of Bluff. Place a condition that if she loses, she has to come on a date with you. That’s it.

Me: What, a game of bluff? That’s not even an idea Calvin.

Calvin: You should give me a point for originality. I bet this will definitely work.

Me: I appreciate your confidence. But you know what, I don’t know how to play bluff game.

Calvin: Boy, I can see why that Nusie does not like you much.

Me: That’s the whole point, I want her to like me. Tell me how to play bluff.

Calvin: That I will teach you tonight. But first you should shoo away the monsters under my bed.

Me: Ew.. Monsters?! Didn’t you bring your flamethrower to torch them?

Calvin: Nope. That’s why I’m making you the bait.

Calvin shrugged and ate the pancake with maple syrup. After dinner we headed to the bedroom.

Me: Great! I’m a dead man. Even I’m scared of the monsters under the bed. But I’ve to do this for my Nusie.

To be continued...

Inspired by Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes